6 Barriers That Stop Leaders Giving Feedback (And How to Overcome Them)

Let me ask you a question . . . what feedback are you currently NOT giving?

Not because you don’t care. Not because you haven’t noticed. But because something - practical, emotional, or uncomfortable - is holding you back.

In this blog, we’re tackling six of the most common reasons leaders hold back from giving feedback - and more importantly, what it takes to overcome them. 

These are challenges we regularly explore in our feedback workshops, because understanding why we hesitate is often the first step to building the confidence, skill and courage needed to have conversations that genuinely support performance, trust and growth.

1. The Kindness Trap

The obstacle: You don’t want to knock someone’s confidence or add pressure when they’re already struggling.

The reality: Silence rarely protects people. It creates uncertainty and unclear expectations. In Radical Candor, Kim Scott highlights the importance of balancing caring personally with challenging directly. Too much care without challenge leads to avoidance; challenge without care feels harsh. Great leadership sits in the balance between the two.

What helps overcome it: Reframe feedback as both support and accountability. Clarity is kindness. When you care personally and challenge directly, you help people succeed rather than leaving them guessing. Address issues early, while they’re still small and easier to resolve.

2. Fear of Damaging Relationships

The obstacle: You want harmony. You don’t want awkwardness or tension with your people.

The reality: Avoidance weakens trust. Most people would rather hear honest feedback than later realise concerns were quietly held back.

What helps overcome it: Focus on intent and respect. Delivered consistently and thoughtfully, feedback strengthens relationships because people know where they stand.

3. “I Don’t Know How to Say It”

The obstacle: Uncertainty about wording, tone, or how someone might react.

The reality: Many leaders delay conversations because they feel they don’t have the skills to deliver it well.

What helps overcome it: Treat feedback as a skill that develops over time. Prepare by clarifying your purpose, focusing on observable behaviours rather than assumptions, and creating regular opportunities to practise feedback conversations so they feel more natural and confident.

4. Time Pressure

The obstacle: You’re busy. Competing priorities take over and feedback feels like something that requires time and emotional energy you simply don’t have right now.

The reality: Avoiding the conversation rarely saves time. Small issues grow, misunderstandings deepen, and what could have been a quick discussion can turn into a bigger performance problem that takes far more time and effort in the long run.

What helps overcome it: Shift from waiting for the “perfect” moment to having timely conversations. Build feedback into everyday interactions and address issues early, when a short discussion can prevent a much bigger investment of time later.

5. “Nothing Changed Last Time”

The obstacle: You’ve tried before. You gave feedback, invested time in the conversation, and nothing really changed - so it’s easy to wonder, why bother saying it again?

The reality: Just because change didn’t happen before doesn’t mean it won’t happen now. Ignoring an issue rarely makes it disappear; more often it allows frustration, confusion or unhelpful habits to become more established.

What helps overcome it: Understand why change didn’t happen previously. Were expectations unclear? Was support missing? Try a different approach. Involve the person in finding solutions, agree clear actions together, and revisit progress regularly. Persistence, curiosity and consistency turn feedback into real change.

6. When Feedback Isn’t Something You Personally Value

The obstacle: This came up in one of my feedback workshops when a participant openly shared that they didn’t personally look for or need feedback. They preferred independence and trusted their own judgement - so they hadn’t seen the need to give regular feedback to others either (at least before attending the workshop).

The reality: Our own preferences don’t always reflect what others need to succeed. Many people actively want feedback because it provides reassurance, direction and opportunities to grow. In fact, research shows that 92% of people believe constructive or negative feedback, when delivered well, improves performance. 

What helps overcome it: Understand the different feedback needs within your team. Ask what helps them do their best work, notice how they respond, and adapt your approach. Great leaders don’t give feedback based on what they prefer - they give people what their people need to succeed.

The Leadership Reality

If any of these obstacles sound familiar, you’re not alone. The key is recognising when they’re getting in the way - and choosing to give the feedback anyway. Honest, timely conversations create clarity, strengthen trust and support growth. Because the feedback you choose to give today is often what helps people succeed tomorrow.

If you’d like us to run an in-person or virtual session to help your leaders build effective feedback skills, please contact us - we’d love to support you.